Wednesday, September 12, 2012

This is why we can't have nice things

When life is handing us lemons, my husband and I turn to each other and say, "Well, at least we have the Kirby."  No joke.  When the cars break down, the washer and dryer fail, the a/c needs to be repaired, and the kids have peed on the furniture one too many times, we can always trust that our indestructible Kirby G5 will be there for us.

It was a sad day last week when I realized that our Kirby was no longer performing at its full capacity.  Like, it wasn't sucking at all (in a good way).  It was blowing the stuff on the carpet out of the way and into places where it would be much harder to reach later on.  So with a heavy heart I set about trying to discover the malfunction.  Would this be the end of reliable vacuuming as we knew it?

I checked the bag.  Yes, the bag was full to overflowing.  It was so heavy I needed two hands to carry it out to the trash.  Surely, the installation of a new bag would be an acceptable sacrifice to my faithful vacuum.  But alas.  The sucky non-suction continued.

Brett suggested I change the belt.  Reasonable, since I'd never done it in the 8 years we owned the vacuum.  No improvement.

When consulted, the internets suggested I check and clean the fill tube.  I guess over time lots of tiny pieces of dust can congeal into a massive tube-clogging monster.

I removed the appropriate pieces of the machine and hesitantly gave it a little shake over the garbage can.  Some dirt, a few chips of wood, and a penny fell out.  Another shake yielded more of the same.  Surely this can't be keeping my all-powerful Kirby from doing its job.

I tried to hook out some more goop with the end of a wire hanger without any luck.  Then Brett suggested I run the entire length of wire through the tube for better results.  Success!  The hook snagged on a fluffball roughly the size of my dog and dragged it kicking and screaming into the light.  A few more passes with the wire and I had enough dingy fluffballs to start my own petting zoo.

At last the tube was clear with the exception of one item still rattling mischievously around in there.  I gave it a whack and this little guy landed on my carpet.

Yes, that is a Star Wars action figure.  (And yes, that is the actual color of my bedroom carpet, but that's a post for another day.)  

The point is that my Kirby is SO FREAKING AWESOME that it sucked up a whole action figure at some point in the last 8 years and I didn't even know it!

And of course, the combination of Star Wars and vacuums made me think of this straight away:

I'm pleased to report the actionfigurectomy was a wild success and the Kirby is back in business!


Dirtius Wifius said...

I need a sucky vacuum like a Kirby! Glad it survived and is back in business. How's the star wars figurine? :)

Shauna said...

Man, I took my vacuum apart and cleaned it about a year ago. I had no idea it could have made this entertaining of a blog post! This is what makes you awesome. I'm so glad you're blogging again.

Brett said...

Andrea was going to toss the Star Wars toy... I'm thinking kids are gonna chew on those anyway. All limbs are in tact, but not unscathed. Awesome article babe ;-)

Heather said...

You are so awesome!

Jimmy and Jackie said...

So glad you wrote this... Like it was stated, who'd guessed someone could make cleaning out the Kirby so entertaining. You made my day!