A solicitor knocked on my
door the other day trying to sell me internet service. At the end of his
speech, he asked if I had any questions. I pointed to my "No
Soliciting" sign and asked where I might put it that would be more
visible. Oh snap!
My neighbor must have had
the munchies. I heard him groan, "Girl, I need some macaroni salad
reeeeeal bad...
Brooke spent 15 minutes this
morning trying to put on the strange and bizarre new pants she found on the
floor. Then she proudly stood up to show me that she'd managed to wrap my bra
around her legs and waist.
Me: Honey, bad news, there's
poop on the bed.
Him: What's the good news?
Me: It's all on your side."
As I waited at the railroad
crossing today, I saw a boxcar fly by bearing graffiti which said, "Trust
no one." And then, "The truth is out there."
Heard "Don't Fear the
Reaper" on the radio this morning. Instead of changing the station, I
turned it up and thought, "This needs more cowbell.""
Dear Mr. Delicious Fried
Zucchini: While I appreciate you making your way secretly into my bag of french
fries, I do NOT appreciate the fact that you were, in fact, a jalapeno pepper
masquerading as a delicious fried zucchini. Infidel!
The version of "If You
Could Hie To Kolob" that I'm listening to sounds a little like "Enter
Sandman." Makes me want to listen to more church music.
I deleted an e-mail from
Brett's account from a company called "Bongo Flashers." Was I wrong
to think it was porn? Turns out they are a DJ lighting company. Oops.
I had a dream last night
that I was singing "Called To Serve" at the MTC. But instead of
singing it, I was clucking the tune like a chicken. Bok bok!
My baby just put the end of
a USB cable that was connected to the computer in her mouth. The computer said,
"Your USB device is malfunctioning."
The phrase "Girl, I need some macaroni salad reeeeel bad" has actually become an inside joke at our house.
3 comments:
I remember none of those, but I got a hearty chuckle out of all of them. Thanks! :)
My favorite was the bra one. :)
We were there that night! We still joke about macaroni salad. Oh what a fond memory with you guys. Oh and if you need to ship a malfunctioning cute niece to NC feel free! Just poke some holes and put some fruit snacks in the box. Ill even promise to check my mail everyday.
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