I've kept her alive a lot longer than any of my houseplants

But that's not really saying much.

We were at the doctor's office yesterday for Brooke's four-month checkup. When the nurse came in to check her vitals and such, she (the nurse, not Brooke) asked:

"Do you shave her head? Or does she just not have any hair yet?"

Uhhh, what? Do I shave her head? What kind of a question is that??

When I indicated that she just didn't have any hair yet, the nurse replied condescendingly:

"Well, don't worry about it. She'll get hair eventually."

I know. I wasn't worried about it. But now I guess I should be, lest someone think I'm shaving my baby's head.

Keeping America safe from weirdos

I love the Muppet Show.

Downsizing

I called the company that publishes our accounting software to ask a technical question today. I told the receptionist that I would like to speak to someone in tech support. She said, "He is on another call right now. Can I take a message for you?"

He? HE? Your entire tech support department is one person and he is on another call?

Good grief.

Stating the obvious

Conversation the other night at Elephant Bar:

Me: Ugh! There are onions on this bruschetta! Gross! Why would they want to ruin perfectly good bruschetta by smothering it with onions? *starts picking off the offending onions*

Brett: Instead of picking them off, why don't you just give it a try?

Me: Uhhhh... because I don't like onions.


Aaaaand... scene.

Tummy time

Brooke has never really been a fan of tummy time. In fact, she hates it so much that today when I put her on her tummy, she used her freakishly strong arms to flip herself onto her back.

Three times in a row.

*dabs a tear* My baby is growing up so fast.

Awesome motherhood moment, part 3

The other day, I had to change Brooke's diaper in a public restroom without a changing station. I spread her changing pad in the large section of empty counter beside the sink and laid her down. There was not enough room for the diaper bag and the baby, though. Not a problem for me, however, being the supermom I am. I plopped the bag into the dry sink so it would be within easy reach.

Then, the water automatically turned on and soaked the diaper bag.

Motherhood rocks.

Minor adjustments

Brett wanted me to take his car in to the shop today to have the trunk latch repaired. We were dreading the idea of throwing another $300 or $400 into repairing a car that is 12 years old, but felt like the bungee cord we were using to hold the trunk shut wasn't offering us the level of security we needed to maintain to avoid having the car vandalized and/or stolen.

Brett had a great idea, though. He said to tell the shop that the trunk latch was "stuck." Not broken, not in need of repair. Just stuck. Maybe we could get out of having to special order and replace any parts if the repair technicians were pre-conditioned to believe that all that was needed was a hefty dose of WD40. He instructed me to say no more. Just keep repeating the word "stuck."

Armed with this game plan, I marched up to the service counter.

"What seems to be the problem with your vehicle?" they asked, dollar signs ringing up behind their eyes.

"The trunk latch... it's stuck," I declared.

"What do you mean? Stuck? Like it's broken and won't shut?"

"No, not broken. It just won't shut because it's stuck. Stuck... stuck open and won't shut. Stuck."

"So, the trunk doesn't latch shut? The latch needs repair?"

"No. The latch is fine. It's just stuck. It needs to be un-stuck so it will latch properly. It needs... adjustment."

"Oh, I see. An adjustment. I can have someone look at that right now for you. Would you like to wait while he sees if he can adjust it?"

Thirty minutes later, I was informed that the technician was able to "adjust" the latch and they would be bringing the car around for me shortly.

The total bill for unsticking and adjusting? Not the hundred of dollars we thought we'd have to pay for hours and hours of labor and parts. Just a measly $57.50.

And, we got a free car wash.