Friday, November 7, 2008

Another no-so-update

By popular demand, more of my uneventful pregnancy:

I've been having monthly appointments with the OB/GYN. (Which reminds me: Brett wants to know why it is pronounced "Oh-Bee-Gee-Why-En" instead of "obgin." Any input?) The routine is pretty much the same, I check in, pee in a cup, get weighed, and have my blood pressure taken. Then, the nurse asks me for my due date, which I think is funny because she has my chart in hand as we are speaking. I tell her, "March 7th" which she notes and then tells me exactly how far along I am. Then invariably, she looks at the chart and says, "Oh, you are actually due on the 9th!" Then she revises her estimatation of how far along I am and gives me a look that says, "You are a rotten mother already. You don't even know when your baby is due!"

Two thoughts to keep in mind here: If I tell her I'm due on the 9th, the exact same scenario plays out. "You're actually due on the 7th. Mrs. RottenMotherAlready!" Also, two days? Does it really matter? Aren't there only, like, 5% of babies born on their due date? Honestly woman! You are just setting me up for failure. I can't live up to your expectations. I'm going to have the baby 3 weeks late, just to spite you.

So, then my doctor comes in. I like my doctor. She's easy-going and sympathetic and never tries to make me feel bad for not knowing my due date. She's got a big smile and you can tell she just loves babies. She reviews my chart and then always asks, "How are you feeling?"

From what I can tell, this is why I have an appointment every month. So a person with a lot of schooling can ask, "How are you feeling?" And then, so I don't feel bad about paying $40 to have someone with a lot of schooling ask how I am feeling, she listens to the baby's heartbeat.

These appointments are riveting, I tell ya.

But, in other baby news, we've been testing out names. Brett will lean over to my belly and say, "Hello. How ya doin', Helga?" or "What's up, Baby Olga?" You know, we're just throwin' names out there to see if they stick.

I felt one stick, just a wee bit, last night.

So, we have a contender. But it's a strict "don't ask don't tell" policy 'round these parts. Sorry.


Star said...

Better to have a not so eventful pregnancy update than an update with bad complicated news! That's just my opinion...


Kari said...


momodafoxes4 said...

'cept they don't let you go 3 weeks over these days....geez...wouldn't it be cool if we were in labor together and were sitting there chatting between contractions? Now, that would be something..."So, how's it going? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaararrrggggagagggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!" (Heavy breathing)....uuuuuuuUUUUUUUUrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaa! Oh, just fine, and you?"

kuri said...

Like an obgin
Examinin' for the very first time
Like an o--bgin
With my speculum...

Hey, how come you never mentioned that you have such an awesome blog?

Jack Meyers said...

Blah, I hated prenatal check-ups, and OB-GYN nurse obsession with baby due dates was always a mystery to me. My daughter's original due date was July 4th, which I loathed because I hate the 4th of July (long story). Then when they measured her at her first ultrasound it wiggled back to July 2nd and stayed there. She wound up being born on June 28.

Anyways, good luck with your next few months. Pick the baby name you love and stick with it, and if anyone doesn't like it, tell them very politely that they're welcome to go get laid, get knocked up and choose the baby name of their liking. Always gets a great reaction.

Shauna said...

Wait. I was just re-reading this and noticed that you said that you get to pee in the cup AND THEN weigh. My sadistic nurse always makes me weigh AND THEN I'm allowed to go pee. What kind of policy is that? Making you come in with a full bladder so that your weight can be recorded ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD with bogus numbers? Next time I'm refusing to weigh until I get to pee.