Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I'm gonna take you on a magic sofa ride

We bought a new couch and easy chair last month. At first, I was resistant to the idea of purchasing new furniture in such economic times, but after we sold our easy chair at a garage sale and Brett took our sofa to his office, it became clear that I no longer had a choice. It was either buy new furniture or sit on the floor.

We parked our butts on a lot of different living room sets during our search for The Couch. When we came to the couch that would eventually become The Couch, Brett knew it right away. He was in love. Me, on the other hand, being the skeptic that I am, had to be convinced. I didn't particularly care for the style (it's fluffy and casual, I would have preferred something more formal) and the fabric was unlike any other sofa we looked at. It's a very soft green micro-fiber with almost a terry-cloth feel to it. I joked, ala "Friends", that is was made from Genuine Muppet Skin.

But we ended up buying it anyway and we had company over for dinner the night we brought it home. Our friends ooohhhed and ahhhhed appreciatively, but I thought it was probably just because they were glad not to sit on the floor. Late that night, Brett's pregnant sister arrived after a long and grueling flight from Utah. We invited her to relax on the new sofa. She settled in, popped up the footrest, leaned the back back, and summed her feelings up in one word:

"Uuuuunnnnnnggghhh..." <--- groan of approval

My feelings for the new furniture started to grow after Shauna gave her unabashed endorsement, but for some reason, I still held back. When I would watch TV, I'd sit up ramrod-straight and never even try to relax and get comfortable. I didn't want to become too attached. Then, one night as we started to watch a movie , Brett insisted I recline my seat and use the footrest. I did so just to humor him. And, after a few moments... I fell asleep.

This wasn't just any sleep. This was the sleep of the dead. I was comatose for almost 2 hours. Brett woke me when the movie ended and told me to go to bed.

It must have been a fluke, I rationalized. I was just really tired. I could have fallen asleep like that anywhere. The sofa had nothing to do with it.

The next night, the couch beckoned to me with its siren song. "Just recline for a few moments. Rest your weary bones. It won't take long. A little rest is just what you need..." I thought I would experiment to see if the previous night's slumber was due to the couch or my personal exhaustion. That was my last thought... for another two hours.

Repeat for the next 4 nights in a row.

Now, I can't sit on The Couch without falling asleep. We rent movies, I fall asleep. I read a book, I fall asleep. I sit on The Couch to talk on the phone, I fall asleep. The Couch is like a vortex to another dimension... a wonderful warm, relaxed, sleepy dimension where troubles melt like lemon drops.

The ultimate demonstration of The Couch's power came last night when I was reviewing my ballot in preparation to vote today. The house was chilly from the rain so we built a small fire in the fireplace. The flames crackled merrily and The Couch lured me in once again.

By 9:30, all thought of ballots and propositions were forgotten. "Must not recline... Must be responsible citizen... Must vote..." I struggled to focus. I glanced over to where Brett was already slumbering in the recliner at the opposite end. "Just for a few moments," I thought. "I'll be able to focus better after a 10 minute nap."

I should have known better. I woke up at 8:00 this morning...still cradled in the loving bosom of my new best friend, The Couch.

5 comments:

momodafoxes4 said...

Yes...and that reminds me....I should not study for Chemistry on our fluffy micro fiber couch...I swear it must be the material...maybe they inject the fibers with triptophan?

Shauna said...

I guess now you don't need that sleeping vacation, eh? But I don't think any scientific conclusions can be drawn from your experiments until after you're 1) Not pregnant anymore and 2) Getting to sleep through the night once the little one is born.

The sample has been TAMPERED with!

Andrea said...

It's true...I am hardly a random sample. But Brett's not pregnant and he was ZONKED OUT! Maybe it's sympathy sleeping?

Shauna said...

Didn't Brett also win some kind of special recognition in high school for falling asleep so often in class? That boy could fall asleep ANYWHERE!

Janene said...

I want one of those! Another dimension sounds fantastic!