Comcast: We're calling about a past due balance on your account.
Me: Weird. I have this set up on autopay. There shouldn't be a balance.
Comcast: I show the amount owing is 89.40.
Me: Can you tell me why the autopay didn't go through?
Comcast: I don't have access to that information. You can call customer service at 1-800-COMCAST. I'd be happy to take a payment today for the past due balance of 89.40.
Me: Well, I'm not entire sure I owe anything. It is usually charged to my card automatically.
Comcast. Your service may be disconnected if I don't receive the payment of 89.40.
Me: When is it scheduled for disconnection?
Comcast: I don't have access to that information. You can call customer service at 1-800-COMCAST. How would you like to make your payment of 89.40 today?
Me: I'm not going to make a payment until I find out why the autopay didn't go through. I don't want to pay it twice due to an accounting error on your part.
Comcast: Is there anything else I can do for you today?
Me (ignoring the fact that he has done absolutely nothing for me yet): Yes. You are the third person to call me about this account in the past 3 days. None of you have been able to answer my questions. Can you at least take me off your calling list?
Comcast. No. It's an automated call center. As long as there is a balance due you will continue to receive calls.
Me: Let me get this straight. You are assigned to speak with customers about their past due accounts but you are given no useful information about said accounts. You have no resources at your disposal, no way to answer questions, and no power to make the calls stop. You can do NOTHING but accept my payment. Is that right?
Comcast: Well, yes. Is there anything else I can do for you?