Total eclipse of the Meatloaf

I didn't start listening to the radio and becoming aware of Top 40 music until I was in fifth grade. Prior to that I only knew three popular songs by name. That's it. Three. No more.

Song number one was my mostest favoritest song of all-time that I loved more than any other song in the whole wide world with all my heart, mind, and soul. It was "Total Elipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. I didn't actually have a copy of the song so I was at the mercy of a friend who owned the cassette tape and who would let me borrow it on rare occasions. On VERY rare occasions. She probably guessed at the blackness lurking deep in my lusting heart. If had she stopped asking for her tape back, I would have kept it forever and ever. I might have even lied to her if the subject had come up later and told her that I had given her tape back and she must have lost it. I was THAT IN LOVE with this song.

It was the bane of my existence that MY SONG wasn't the first song on the tape so that I could easily rewind it to the beginning and play it over and over and over again. Not that that stopped me. I still played it over and over and over again. I never got tired of it.

Song number two was "(Making Love) Out Nothing At All" by Air Supply. I'd get chills up and down my spine when I heard the opening piano bars. My fingers would tingle as the choir voices would swell and Air Supply would become more and more impassioned, singing to a crescendo before finally confessing that he truly is making love out of nothing at all. It wasn't the lyrics at all that moved me, it was just...something that spoke to me.

(Song number three was "Gloria" by Laura Brannigan, but that really doesn't have anything to do with this story.)

Years later, my brother Dennis introduced me (accidentally, I'm sure--he was never into sharing his music) to an artist called Meatloaf. We listened to "Back Into Hell" on the way back to Utah after Christmas break one year. I loved it. I loved every single song on the album. It's rare for me to like music I haven't heard before and doubly unusual to love every single song on an album. It just doesn't happen for me. But I loved loved loved Meatloaf.

This was during my headbanger years and it wasn't too far off base for me to like Meatloaf. But then I heard a Celine Dion song with which I had the same immediate infatuation. I tried to deny it but I was powerless to stop it. "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" was my secret vice. Openly, I scorned La Dion and her songbird-warbling chest-thumping antics. But behind closed doors I was like Salieri, secretly attending Mozart operas while surreptitiously trying to ruin him.

Answers came when I met Jeff at work. Jeff was waaaaay into music and was impressed when I told him that one of my favorite singers was Meatloaf.

"So, you know all about Jim Steinman then, too, I guess," he said.

"Jim Who?"

"Jim Steinman. He wrote all the songs for "Bat Out Of Hell" and "Back Into Hell" as well as a whole bunch songs for other artists."

"Oh yeah? Like who?"

"Well, let's see... he wrote songs for Bonnie Tyler, Sisters of Mercy, Air Supply, oh, and Celine Dion sang one of his songs. I know, barf, but it's actually a great song. It's called "It's All Coming Back To Me Now."

Turns out my favorite music ever since I was old enough to have favorite music was all written by the same guy. The Great Jim Steinman.

I had great taste in music... even as a nine-year-old.

"Stop whining!"

My brother Chet used to prank call me. He would play sound clips from The Jerky Boys or from movies we had both seen. One of his favorites was "Kindergarten Cop." Example:

Me: Hello?

Arnold Schwartznegger: This is Detective John Kimball. Who is your daddy and what does he do?

Me: Hey Chetty.

AS: Stop whining! This is Detective John Kimball. We are going to play a little game...

Me: *sigh*

AS: Who is your daddy and what does he do?

Me: --

AS: Stop whining! Who is your daddy and what does he do?... It's notta tumah...

Me: --

AS: This is Detective John Kimball. Stop whining! We are going to play a little game. Who is your daddy and what does he do?

Another favorite was a Jerky Boy clip during which Sol says reproachfully, "You don't have to be so... so hurtful and angry-like."

It was painful, with lots of whining. Kind of like this blog.

Grab-oids!

My brother requested an inspiring story from my childhood. This isn't really inspiring, but it's a fond memory for me.

It was summertime and the living was easy. I mean, it was summertime and we were out of school and bored out of our minds. We rented "Tremors" from the Pollock Pines Select Video Store, mixed up a pitcher of Kool-Aid, and settled in for a lazy afternoon in front of the boob tube.

For some reason, mom was letting us drink as much Kool-Aid as we wanted that day. So we guzzled glass after glass after glass.

Maybe it was too much sugar for one day. It might have been the intoxicating flavor of Mountain Berry Punch (a flavor Kool-Aid no longer makes - curse you!). It might have just been the silliness of a brother and sister just kicking it in the grand room with nothing else to do. But "Tremors" seemed like THE BEST MOVIE of all time!

It had action and guns. It was funny. It was gross and scary and suspenseful all at the same time. Oh, and there was a lot of swearing in it. Way more than movies than we were normally allowed to watch.

I have such a big warm fuzzy surrounding my memory of that afternoon that it was a shock when Brett told me that "Tremors" really isn't a very good movie. I watch it now and I still love it.

Oh yeah, I watch it now because when Brett saw it on clearance at Blockbuster, he bought it for me. Even though he thinks it's lame. I love my guy.

So, what are the lame movies you cherish?

("Goonies" springs to mind, as well.)