But is it the same one Noah used?

I was about 10 years old when my family got our first VCR for Christmas. We didn't own any videos, so we borrowed from our neighbor next door. One summer, she was kind enough to let us have "Raiders of the Lost Ark" on indefinite loan. When we would complain about being bored, mom would suggest that we watch "Raiders" again.

We always did. It never got old. I've probably seen "Raiders" in its entirety more times than any other movie in my life. (Runner up: "Interview with the Vampire," which I've seen in the theater more times than any other movie. We saw it at the dollar theater two or three times a week for six or more weeks. You do the math.) My count on "Raiders" viewing is well over 40. Probably closer to 60.

We saw the new Indiana Jones movie last night and enjoyed it tolerably well. I did miss the Nazis (they were replaced by Russians) and I missed the familiar soaring, heroic theme. You know the one: Ba-ba-da-daaaaaaah, Ba-ba-daaaaaaah, Ba-ba-da-dah, Ba-ba-da-da-da. The theme was used far less than in previous films and the orchestration, when it did play, was fairly muted and much less heroic. Kind of like the way that Sting turned "Every Breath You Take" from a marginally creepy stalker song into a sappy love song.

My favorite part of the Indy 4 experience occurred right at the beginning when a kidnapped Indy and a bunch of Russians enter a government warehouse stacked floor-to-ceiling with wooden crates of various sizes. The Russians demand that Indy help them find the specific crate they are seeking.

At this point, my mother-in-law turns to me and says,

"Oh, great. They aren't looking for that stupid ark again, are they?"

My prrrrrrecious...

We watched "Return of the King" last night (the first disc anyway). I was reminded of Christmas 2003 when we watched it at the theater as one of the traditional Fox Family Christmas Movies. When we watched it at the theater, I was seated between Brett and his mom.

You may remember the scene in which Frodo and company reach the winding stair on their way to Mordor. The landscape is bleak and smokey and the twisting staircase winds up the side of an impossibly tall mountain. Before they can start to ascend, Frodo is uncontrollably drawn toward the fortress of the Witch King. The fortress is imposing edifice emanating a swampy green glow Horned gargoyles guard its dark gates. A low, evil rumble begins as Frodo's companions try to draw him back into hiding. The rumble builds and throbs into a deafening cacophony which shakes small rocks from the surrounding mountains. At the crescendo, a beam of the swampy green light bursts out of the top of the fortress and the Witch King appears on his fell beast. The beast screeches and circles in the sky while Frodo and company cower and cover their ears. The doors of the fortress open and legions of orcs and other vile creatures march out. The clanking of crudely-made armor matches the sound of tens of thousands of gnarled feet on the stone road. Their faces are tortured and deformed with blackened jagged teeth and filthy diseased skin. They slobber and gnash and howl at the thought of the carnage of the coming battle.

At this point in the movie, Mama Fox leans over to me and says,

"So, these are the bad guys, right?"

What white teeth you have, my dear

Brett and I saw "10,000 B.C." last night. During a scene near the end, the camera focuses on the main character's face in an extreme close-up to add emotional weight. I couldn't help but notice that this guy had perfect teeth. White and shiny and straight and beau-tiful teeth. It was a bit incongruous with the fact that the rest of him was all grungy and sweaty and his hair was matted in overgrown dreadlocks.

I leaned over the whisper my discovery to Brett. As I drew in my breath to speak, he said, "I don't want to hear anything about his teeth, okay?"

He knows me almost TOO WELL. Must have been the big stink I made over Matthew McConaughey's teeth in "Sahara." They were really really really white in that movie.

I also remember my mother-in-law telling me that she couldn't enjoy "The Book Of Mormon Movie" anymore because I had said something about the french manicure on Sariah's fingernails and now it was too distracting. I can't actually remember saying anything about it, but it does seem like the kind of thing I'd notice. Right, sweetie?