Monday, June 9, 2008

So, you're getting married?

Let me be the first to offer congratulations! Your wedding day is going to be one of the most memorable days of your life. It's a day to look your finest, revel in romance, and enjoy the undivided adoration of your family and friends.

As you probably are aware, planning the perfect wedding will not be easy. Many things that you feel are earth-shatteringly important will be out of your control. My best advice: find wedding professionals you can trust and let them do their job. You will be surprised how well they can bring your vision to life while managing the many, many inevitable crises which will occur on your special day.

You will draw inspiration from many sources. Your perfect color scheme might be inspired by the season and local flowers. Your gown may be plucked from the pages of the most fashionable bridal magazine. Your choice of caterer could be decided by sampling from a variety of restaurants. The wide world beckons with the seeds of ideas to make your own.

Go! Reap the bounty the world offers! Plan your heart out! Be the most phenomenal bridezilla ever!

I offer this single, solitary nugget of advice:

Having an outdoor wedding in the middle of the day is stupid.

If your inspiration for the perfect wedding comes from a movie and said movie features beautiful people laughing and dancing and having a great time at an outdoor reception in the middle of the day, be assured that said movie is lying to you. This does not happen.

Brides the world over consult almanacs to pick the best days for outdoor receptions. "Why, it hasn't rained in Sacramento on June 9th for over 80 years! The weather will be perfect!" It won't. It will, will 99% certainty, be unseasonably rainy, windy, hot, cold, snowy on your special day.

But let's say you are the Chosen One. The weather is indeed movie-location perfect. There's not a cloud in the sky and a gentle breeze carries the perfume of a thousand flowers to your reception site. The guests are not too hot or too cold. Even your 90-year-old gramma is comfortable sitting outside for six hours. Your reception will still suck.

Do you know why?

Regardless of the weather, no one likes to dance when the sun is out.

It's a simple concept. If you are planning on having three hours of dancing at your perfect middle-of-the-day outdoor reception, plan on ending early. You will dance your first dance with your new husband. You may dance with your father. You may be able to force your bridal party to dance in an effort to get the party started. It won't work. The party won't start. Your guests will clap politely and then begin to leave. There's not enough alcohol in the world to convince people to dance outside in the middle of the day at a wedding.

So, plan accordingly. Move the dancing indoors, turn out the lights, and go to town. Or, alternatively, do not attempt to have dancing at your outdoor in-the-middle-of-the-day reception. Have a luncheon, cut the cake, toss the bouquet, and call it a day.

And by all means, if you should ignore your trusted DJ's expert professional opinion and choose to have your blasted wedding outside in the middle of the blasted day on the blasted most unseasonably hot blasted day in 80 years, please refrain from saying, "DJ! All my guests are leaving! Do something!"

At that point, it will be beyond his poor power to add or detract.

4 comments:

momodafoxes4 said...

so sorry that SOME people are just soooooo lame! I can't believe she actually said that!! HELLO!!!

Shauna said...

What did she expect him to do? Dress in drag and do the hula?

momodafoxes4 said...

OY!!!

Brett said...

My job is not to tell people what to do, but to tell people the pros and cons of their decisions and have them make the final call by that info. After 12 years I don't see surprises outside of individuals (When your talking about a party of 100 or more, never). It interests me that if you truly believed that a wedding was such a defining and important day, why wouldn't want to get more info from your professionals, especially if this is your first wedding reception? Unique, Memorable, and Fun doesn't happen by itself.